Why Don’t We Cry Anymore?
We skip mourning. We miss God. We stay numb.
No kidding, there I was two weeks ago speaking to three Christian brothers about life-altering circumstances. Also, yesterday was my late mom’s birthday. So, learning how to mourn was a topic I wanted to explore.
Because we don’t know how to mourn anymore.
We rush. We cover. We distract.
“They’re in a better place.”
“At least they’re pain-free.”
“I’m staying busy.”
”I did something similar to them anyway.”
Words that sound kind but keep us numb.
Grief avoided is grief delayed.
And grief delayed always returns.
Mourning is not weakness.
It is worship.
It is the pathway God built into the soul.
The Psalms are soaked in tears (Psalm 6:6, Psalm 42:3, Psalm 126:5).
David wept. Jeremiah wailed.
Even Jesus cried (John 11:35).
Why do we think we’re stronger if we don’t?
How They Mourned in the Bible
Mourning was not an inconvenience to our ancestors.
It was communal. It was public. It was raw.
Reuben tore his clothes (Genesis 37:29).
Jacob tore his clothes (Genesis 37:34).
Job sat in ashes (Job 2:8).
Daniel prayed in sackcloth and ashes (Daniel 9:3).
David fasted for his dying child (2 Samuel 12:16).
Jeremiah called for women to wail aloud (Jeremiah 9:17–18).
Joseph mourned for seven days, despite being the second most powerful man in the world (Genesis 50:10).
Israel wept for Moses for a whole month (Deuteronomy 34:8).
There was no single prescription.
But there was definition.
Mourning is an opportunity to bring God into the gloomy.
Why Mourning Matters Today
Our culture avoids anything uncomfortable.
So naturally, grief takes a back seat to busyness, entertainment, and shallow phrases.
But Scripture calls us to face grief with honesty.
Jesus wept.
He sweat drops of blood in anxiety (Luke 22:44).
He knew resurrection was coming, but He still stepped into sorrow (John 11:35).
Paul testified, “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10).
Both belong in the same house.
He also said, “We do not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
We grieve differently, but we still grieve.
Lamentations cries out in devastation but clings to God’s faithfulness:
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22–23).
What’s the point?
If you skip mourning, you miss God’s transforming presence.
Mourning is the soil where hope takes root.
Mourning and Intimacy with God
When trust is broken, you don’t bring your sadness to someone.
That’s why many never mourn with God.
But He invites you to.
He invites you to cry, collapse, confess, and be comforted.
Without intimacy with God, grief feels pointless.
With intimacy, grief becomes holy.
J. I. Packer once wrote that suffering stretches the wineskin so it can hold more wine.
Mourning with God expands your soul to receive more of Him.
Ecclesiastes tells us:
“It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting… for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:2).
Mourning teaches us to number our days.
It humbles us.
It makes room for God.
Never Finished Challenge: How to Mourn Well
Allow honest grief. Pray the prayer you don’t want to pray. Cry the tears you’ve stuffed down. “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?” (Psalm 13:2).
Set aside time. “There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Don’t rush it.
Invite trusted people. Job’s friends sat in silence with him for seven days (Job 2:13).
Anchor in Scripture. Pray Psalms of lament: 13, 22, 42–43. They give words when yours run out.
Mark the loss. Israel set up stones to remember God’s work (Joshua 4:6–7). You can light a candle, plant a tree, or make a simple marker that points back to Christ.
Return with purpose. God “comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble” (2 Corinthians 1:4).
So, take one Psalm of lament this week—Psalm 13, 22, or 42. Pray it slowly. Let the tears come. Write what you’re afraid to say. Ask Jesus to meet you there.
What Does Today Say About God?
Hope.
No matter the season.
No matter the size of the grief.
No matter the darkness.
With God, there is always hope.
This hit home. Thanks for sharing.