The Silence That Protected
Day 3—Understanding Begins Where Self Ends
Some stories end before the truth comes out. And sometimes that silence is mercy.
For nearly a decade, I pursued my birth dad, hoping a relationship would finally form. I was warned and often criticized for this. But he was still my dad. Maybe more importantly, God gave me the strength to forgive.
After years of surface-level conversations, I finally sat him down with a desire to pray for him and seek truth. He lost parental rights to all seven of his kids when I was ten, so I had questions. I also wanted my daughters safe, which meant I needed clarity about the past before he could meet them. I questioned with patience. I prayed with courage. I pursued truth with confidence.
But he denied everything. He even gently blamed my mom, who is not alive to defend herself. He lived thirty minutes away, but after that meeting, it felt like he lived on another planet. I decided I would stay available but guarded.
Last year, he became very sick with cystic fibrosis. He lost a hundred pounds. His strength faded. Something inside me told me to visit, but life kept moving, and I didn’t. Weeks later, he asked to meet again. He said he wanted to talk about the past and finally tell me what “really happened.”
Before that meeting could happen, something went wrong with his heart. His lungs couldn’t handle it. He suddenly passed.
Buried answers.
Buried reconciliation.
And an ache and regret that truth might never come.
It’s a strange pain when the chance for clarity disappears overnight.
As I sat with that weight, our time together this week seeking to learn more about understanding, and John’s testimony, helped make sense of what God withheld and why.
It Starts with Him
I was reading John 1:33, “And I did not recognize [a]Him, but He who sent me to baptize [b]in water said to me, ‘He upon whom you see the Spirit descending and remaining upon Him, this is the One who baptizes [c]in the Holy Spirit.’”
Here are five truths we can observe and apply to the things we don’t understand.
1. John didn’t see Jesus until God opened his eyes.
John was filled with the Spirit before birth (Luke 1), yet he still didn’t recognize Jesus until the Father revealed Him.
That wasn’t weak faith.
That was God’s sovereignty.
God unveils truth at the right moment so it shapes you, not crushes you.
Truth is a gift on His schedule.
2. God shields His children from words, wounds, and stories that would harm their faith.
There is a protection that whispers instead of roars.
A protection that feels like, “Not yet.”
A protection that says, “You don’t need that.”
A quiet hand over the heart.
I wanted resolution with my dad.
God wanted restoration in me.
Those are not the same thing.
He is a perfect shield.
What He allows and what He withholds will always form you for good if you stay fixed on Him.
God’s sovereignty never excuses human sin, but it does redeem every broken piece surrendered to Him.
3. Your Father knows what truth you can carry without breaking.
Some revelations heal.
Some reopen wounds.
Some create burdens you were never meant to bear.
He knows when truth will heal and when truth will harm.
God loved me enough to call my earthly dad home before I carried a load that had nothing to do with the mission He gave me.
That wasn’t loss.
That was mercy.
His sovereignty is wrapped in mercy and grace.
You are loved more than you know.
4. You’re not missing anything required for your calling.
If something was essential for your identity, healing, or purpose, God would have revealed it.
The Lord never withholds what builds you.
He only withholds what bends you.
5. Your Father sees the whole story. You see one chapter.
I don’t know what my dad was going to say.
God did.
And He filtered it.
Out of love for me, for Emily, for my daughters, and for the assignment over my life.
Look back on your own story.
What did God filter that could have broken you?
What Scripture makes certain
• God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34)
• God works all things for good for those who love Him (Romans 8)
• God withholds no good thing from those who walk with Him (Psalm 84)
• God is a shield around His sons (Psalm 3)
• The secret things belong to the Lord, and what He reveals is enough for life and obedience (Deuteronomy 29)
When truth stays hidden, God’s character stays clear.
You are not missing truth.
You are being carried by truth.
And the God who unveiled Jesus to John at the perfect moment is unveiling your story at the perfect pace for your calling.
Never Finished Challenge
I thought my dad’s truth would set me free.
But it wouldn’t have.
There is only one truth that frees the soul.
“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
Sit with the Lord long enough for peace to rise.
Ask Him to settle the unknowns.
Keep asking until peace comes.
What Does Today Say About God
Jehovah Tsidkenu
The Lord Our Righteousness
The righteousness that covers you also covers the parts of your story that feel unfinished.
This gift of righteousness gives belonging.
It tells me:
I matter to Him.
I am chosen.
I am secure.
I am seen.
If you are in Christ, so are you.
May you be blessed with deep peace today, knowing your sovereign Father has held your story in His heart from the beginning.
Tomorrow, let’s talk about it.
I am going live on this platform at 6 a.m.
If you missed yesterday's article, here is day 2.
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Beautifully written… and such perspective!
Thank you for sharing this story and testimony. There was a lot going on when your mother was taken from us. By God‘s grace, you have a very good perspective on it all.