The Integrity I Didn’t Know I Had
The words from psalm 41 that made me cringe
The stories of your childhood—those deep, buried moments—shape the stories you write today (it is crucial to look back on those stories and seek to understand them with God and others - see Making Sense of Your Story by Adam Young).
Mine is filled with loneliness, confusion, and helplessness. Thankfully, as a seven-year-old boy, I invited a new Author to take up the pen, so the trauma has been rewritten and redeemed daily.
This morning, He wrote another line—one I didn’t expect.
I came across Psalm 41:12, where David says:
“Because of my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.”
I paused.
Because I can’t imagine saying that to God. Not me.
Why I Struggle to Say What David Said
Honestly, I don’t feel like I can tell God I have integrity.
And deeper than that—I struggle to believe I could have anything of value to offer Him.
But here’s what the Spirit showed me:
That thought holds a whisper of truth and a dangerous lie.
The Truth:
God doesn’t need me. He is self-sufficient. He’s not improved by my worship, or more glorious because of my gifts (Acts 17:25, Romans 11:35-36).
That’s true—and that humility matters.
The Lie:
The lie is that I am worthless to Him. That I am tolerated, not treasured. That I am seen, but not cherished.
And that lie is subtle—but deadly.
Because when the Father looks at me, He sees Jesus.
To say I have nothing of value is to diminish the worth of His Son in me.
You may not add value to God’s being, but He has assigned immeasurable value to you.
You’re not just useful. You’re wanted. You’re not just forgiven. You’re family.
Not because of what you do, but because of who you are in Him.
What Would the Original Audience Have Heard in David’s Words?
When David—the man who committed adultery and murder—said, “Because of my integrity you uphold me,” the original audience didn’t flinch.
Why? Because they understood integrity not as sinlessness, but as loyalty of heart.
—> The Hebrew word tōm means wholeness, sincerity, covenant faithfulness.
David failed, but he repented.
He didn’t run from God; he returned to Him.
His life showed visible repentance and a visible return.
And to a world full of brutal, false gods with no room for grace, this was breathtaking.
It showed them that the God of Israel honored a broken and contrite heart.
What Does This Mean for You and Me?
1. Integrity Isn’t Perfection. It’s How You Respond to Sin.
You will fall. You will wander. But integrity means you return.
Never Finished Challenge: Return
You confess, not hide.
You surrender, not perform.
You hate sin and want to walk in the light (1 John 1:7).
That’s integrity.
2. You Were Chosen by Grace, Not Performance.
God didn’t choose you because you were worthy—He chose you because He is faithful.
Let that sink in.
Before you do anything for God today, ask:
Have I sat with Him first?
Do I know who I am before I work for what I think I need to be?
Identity must come before activity. Or else, your work will wear you out instead of filling you up.
Never Finished Challenge: Spend time with Him every morning! Open His Word and seek Him for a relationship.
3. God’s Mercy Is the Anchor of Your Story.
I named my third daughter Mercy because that word holds everything.
David believed in a restored relationship not because he was bold, but because he understood God’s mercy.
Never Finished Challenge: You can believe that, too.
No matter how far you've run, He’s ready to run to you and restore you (see the prodigal son story, Luke 15:11-32).
So What Does Integrity Look Like Today?
A heart that confesses instead of hides
A life that keeps returning to the Source
A mind that remembers: I’m not defined by my failure—but by His faithfulness
What Does Today Say About God?
This morning, I opened the Word. And the God of the universe—
The One who spoke the stars into being—
Sat with me.
He didn’t scold me for my insecurity.
He didn’t rush me out of my questions.
He met me.
He reminded me of mercy.
He showed me His delight.
He fathered me.
He rescued me again.
What a God.
What a King.
My Father. What a Friend.
Thank You, Jesus.