How to Depend on God
You Are Not Self-Made
A plant does not grow because it is powerful.
It grows because it receives.
Light from above.
Water from heaven.
Life from God.
“What do you have that you did not receive?”
1 Corinthians 4:7
Too often, I have found myself repeating patterns from my childhood.
I do what my parents did.
I do what my friends did.
I do what my environment taught me to do.
So many patterns in me are not random. They were handed to me, modeled for me, and practiced by me until they felt normal.
And here is the thing. I know this may be a hot take, but I do not believe a child of God is trapped under a generational curse that Jesus has not already broken.
I do believe in generational sin patterns.
I do believe in family wounds.
I do believe in learned behavior.
I do believe that what happened before us can shape us.
But I do not believe a child of God is bound under a curse that Jesus has not already defeated.
Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law.
Jesus did not come merely to make cursed people uncursed. He came to make dead people alive.
And once He makes us alive, we still carry flesh that has learned old ways of surviving.
That is where the battle begins.
The old self does not suddenly disappear after a wave of very genuine ‘new-self’ nerves gives your skin a new color with every revelation, song, or experience. The flesh still reaches for familiar patterns—craving normalcy and comfort. The old story still tries to teach the new man how to live.
That is why I can find myself doing what my parents did to my children. I can act the way my friends acted. I can repeat what my environment taught me.
But now something always feels off when I do.
Not because I am condemned.
Because I am alive.
The Holy Spirit is in me. God loves me too much to let me stay my old self.
That is where formation comes in.
Over time, I have learned three words that have helped me depend on God:
Receive.
Remember.
Replace.
Dependence on God means I stop pretending I am self-made and learn to receive, remember, and replace.
Receive
This is where dependence starts.
Before I remember.
Before I replace.
Before I practice obeying.
Before I grow.
I have (and get) to receive.
That sounds simple, but it runs counter to everything in me that wants to prove, perform, hustle, and earn.
A plant does not apologize for needing rain.
A branch does not apologize for needing the vine.
A child does not apologize for needing his or her father.
So I often ask, " Why do I keep acting like need is weakness?”
Jesus said:
“Apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:5
He did not say, “Apart from me you can do less.”
He said nothing.
That means dependence is not immaturity. Dependence is reality.
The mature Christian is not the person who needs God less. The mature Christian is the person who knows he needs God more.
When I live most freely in life,
I receive His Word before I trust my thoughts.
I receive His grace before I try to fix myself.
I receive His correction before I defend myself.
I receive His strength before I run ahead of Him.
I receive His love before I try to prove I am lovable.
This is how dependence begins.
Open hands.
Open Bible.
Open heart.
Remember
I have a confession to make.
There have been many Sundays when I have not felt like going to church.
But I cannot think of one Sunday when I left and was not encouraged, convicted, strengthened, or at least reminded.
Showing up with the body of Christ to worship, open God’s Word, pray, confess, take communion, and sit under the truth helps me remember God's faithfulness.
So do not skip church.
Worship.
Read the Word with God’s people.
Cry.
Pray.
Get on your face.
Take communion.
Remember who God is.
Another tool that helps me remember is testimony.
Hearing the stories of other believers has had a radical impact on my life. Every testimony gives me an eternal, palpable front-row seat to the living, breathing faithfulness of God.
So go get the coffee.
Ask the questions.
Sit across the table.
Listen like you are watching the live-action film of the beautiful hand of God.
And lastly, every time a prayer is answered, a divine connection happens, or God uses me as a tool in someone’s life, I write it down.
I time-stamp it in my notes folder on my iPhone. I have a folder called “Hearing God.” I also keep a journal dedicated to these moments.
I have noticed something.
When I intentionally remember what God is doing, I become more expectant for what He will do.
Not because I control Him.
Because He is faithful.
And He works daily.
Replace
This has been monumental for me.
The brain is shaped by what we practice, repeat, and meditate on. That is not the gospel, but it does remind us that what we give our attention to forms us.
Scripture has been telling us this all along.
Paul writes:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”
Romans 12:2
What we meditate on forms us.
What we rehearse shapes us.
What we believe directs us.
I have tried to just eliminate thoughts.
It does not work.
I have tried to block out lies.
That has never been enough.
I have set out to sing ‘Sticks and bones…’—just kidding. Words have always hurt.
But when I replace lies with God’s truth over and over again, two things start to happen.
One, the shelf life of the lie shrinks.
Two, the lie begins to die.
That does not mean every struggle disappears overnight.
Some struggles have taken years.
Some may be battles I bring to Jesus for the rest of my life.
But I have seen this again and again:
The truth of God is stronger than the lie.
When I meditate on Scripture, memorize His Word, pray it back to Him, and speak truth over the places where I have believed lies, my mind begins to change.
Not by self-help.
Not by hype.
Not by trying harder in my own strength.
By the Spirit of God, using the Word of God to form the child of God.
The law exposes the pattern.
The gospel gives the power.
The old story may explain me, but it does not own me.
Christ owns me.
And because Christ owns me, the lie does not get the final word.
Never Finished Challenge
For the next seven days, practice receive, remember, and replace.
1. Receive
Open your Bible before you open your phone.
Pray:
“Father, I receive Your Word today. I do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from Your mouth.”
Read one passage slowly.
Do not rush.
Receive before you respond.
2. Remember
Write down one thing God has already done.
A prayer He answered.
A person He used.
A provision He gave.
A sin He helped you fight.
A moment where He carried you.
Remembering is not living in the past.
Remembering is training your soul to see the faithfulness of God.
3. Replace
Name one lie and replace it with one truth.
Lie: I am alone.
Truth: The Lord is with me and will never forsake me.
Scripture: Hebrews 13:5
Lie: I have to prove myself.
Truth: I am accepted in Christ by grace.
Scripture: Ephesians 1:6 and Ephesians 2:8-9
Lie: I cannot change.
Truth: The Spirit of God renews the children of God.
Scripture: Titus 3:5
Lie: My past defines me.
Truth: If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:17
Do this for seven days.
Receive.
Remember.
Replace.
Not to earn God’s love.
Because in Christ, you already have it.
A plant cannot make the rain fall.
It cannot create the sun.
It cannot breathe life into itself.
It can only receive, root, and grow.
That is me.
That is you.
We are not self-made.
We are God-made.
Grace-carried.
Spirit-renewed.
Truth-formed.
So today, do not start with striving.
Start with receiving.
Receive His Word.
Remember His faithfulness.
Replace the lie with truth.
And grow.
Have Jesus for breakfast.