Don’t Confuse Community with Communion
Why the fire of fellowship begins in the secret place
Ok… I have a bit of a bone to pick.
In this season of relationship building, I’ve had the incredible opportunity to meet many great men through Bible study groups. But after some informal “market research,” here’s my honest conclusion:
A lot of these groups feel more like fraternities or cliques than fellowships of faith.
Fraternities — because it seems like new members have to pass unwritten tests or meet expectations to be fully accepted.
Cliques — because sometimes the goal becomes making everyone feel good, rather than pointing each other toward Jesus.
Let me be clear:
Don’t leave your community group! Please don’t hear what I’m not saying.
But here’s the heart of my message: In today’s world, “community” has become a buzzword — even inside the Church. It’s often elevated as the highest good. But while biblical community is vital (Hebrews 10:24–25), it was never meant to replace or overshadow intimacy with Jesus.
Jesus Prioritized Solitude with the Father
In Scripture, Jesus repeatedly makes a habit of withdrawing to be alone with His Father. The intense busyness and weight of His mission never replaced His intimacy with God.
Mark 1:35 – “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”
Luke 5:16 – “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
Matthew 14:23 – “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.”
He didn’t build His life around the approval of the disciples (after all, one betrayed Him).
He built His life on constant dependence on the Father.
Whether on the mountaintop or in the vineyard, in the quiet of night or the chaos of crowds, Jesus was never alone. He was in fellowship with the Father through the Spirit.
And so are you.
The Danger of Replacing Intimacy with Activity
I’ve noticed this — and I want you to pause and consider it, too.
In Western Christian culture, it’s easy to:
Prioritize small groups over Scripture
Replace abiding in Christ with doing for Christ
Find identity in a community, rather than in communion
But Jesus never said, “Remain in a good small group.”
He said, “Abide in Me” (John 15:4).
Community is the fruit of abiding, not the root.
Biblical Community Flows from Communion
The early church in Acts 2 devoted themselves — not just to fellowship, but first to the apostles’ teaching, breaking of bread, and prayer. It started with the Word and worship, not simply a social connection.
It’s like leadership. Integrity. Character.
What happens in private eventually shows up in public.
Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruit” (Matthew 7:16).
And fruit comes when the roots are constantly fueled by the Creator.
So the prayer closet? It’s not optional. It’s not a checklist.
It’s where the fire starts.
The private connection with God is a privilege — a sacred place to grow spiritual roots.
The other privilege? Community.
But what a tragedy it is to lock arms with a brother who depends on you for spiritual strength instead of drawing from the well of God himself. One caveat is that there are seasons when you coattail your brother’s faith because you can’t breathe. I get it. But I like to think of Job. Despite all His pain, he still went to God for intimacy and concluded nothing was greater than being in a relationship with Him.
Thankfully, Job did not rely on his friend’s faulty judgment. Instead, he waited for God and had a strong enough foundation to forgive and pray for them. Don’t let your faith rise and fall based on other people’s engagement. Let your roots go deep — so God fuels your faith, and your fire strengthens your brother.
True kingdom community is born when people burn privately with God and bring that fire into fellowship.
And what happens then? Revival. Provision. Unity.
“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.” – Acts 2:44–45
That’s not just community.
That’s the overflow of communion.
If we get it backwards, though?
Community becomes a club, and we trade transformation for belonging.
Never Finished Challenge: A Word for This Generation
Maybe this is the challenge God is raising through you:
“Don’t confuse community with communion. One can make you feel seen. The other makes you whole.”
Ask God — He’s your Father. He hears you.
Ask Him to help you know Him more, to walk in intimacy like Jesus did, and to build deep roots in Him.
You grow roots by:
Reading Scripture daily (get to know His heart and His voice)
Being discipled by someone spiritually seasoned
Filtering what you take in (TV, podcasts, music, social media)
And as your roots go deeper in Him, you’ll begin to trust more, and the fruit of relationships will bloom.
Maybe the reason you haven’t found the community, spouse, or calling you’ve been praying for…
Is because if He gave it to you too soon, it might replace intimacy with Him. I want to be clear. We image the Trinity (One God, THREE persons). Community is wired in us. But, community is not supposed to replace intimacy.
“For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.” – Deuteronomy 4:24
Praise God, He is.
If He were like Santa Claus, we’d lie on our spiritual report card every year:
“Yep. I was a good boy or girl.”
But He sees the heart. And because He loves you, He won’t let anyone or anything steal the place meant for Him.
When I desired community, a wife, and a calling, I was first led to expose my insufficiencies to Him as He watered my roots. After He watered my roots and I became more like Christ, the spouse, the community, and the calling came. The hard part? The timing is His, y’all.
But be encouraged, come boldly. Come honestly.
Approach the throne with open hands.
Because a relationship with the Father — the King of Kings, Sovereign Creator of the Universe — is worth more than any gift, any earthly reward… even your life.
What a Savior.
What a King.
What a Father.
What a Friend.
Thank you, Jesus.